Stories

When Coral's daughter was just five days old, her husband Lance was diagnosed with a brain tumour. He became seriously ill and later passed away, leaving Coral alone with their two beautiful young children and her own health struggles. Coral, a defence veteran who had served in the Royal Australian Air Force, was later diagnosed with PTSD and struggled terribly. As well as the enormous emotional toll, Coral was also faced with managing her family's finances -- something Lance had always done.

This Moneycare Week, Coral bravely shares her story, to encourage others to reach out for support through The Salvation Army's free Moneycare financial counselling service.

Challenging times

Despite holding well-paid jobs over the years, Coral's childhood and family situation meant she had never learned how to manage money. Gambling was also part of life growing up. After losing her husband and then her mum, dad and brother, grief and loneliness took a heavy toll.

"I was in a hell of a space. I was really struggling," she says.

"When I had a life with Lance, I never went gambling because I was happy," she says. "It all came when everything went bad. Loneliness, lack of connection and sadness feed addiction."

A safe place to get help

Before contacting The Salvation Army Moneycare service, Coral's life hit a dangerous low. She was overwhelmed by debt, addiction and heartbreak, and her suicidal thoughts were becoming 'three-dimensional'. She booked herself into a rehabilitation clinic and began seeing a trauma psychologist and an addictions counsellor.

During this time, money dominated her thoughts. "I would spend every cent I had plus more," she says. "I was always thinking about money." Some days she skipped meals to pay bills. Other days she sold things she needed just to get through the week. "Addiction means no connection," she says. "You feel so alone." It was Coral's counsellor who asked if she would like help with her finances, and referred her to Moneycare free financial counsellor, Lucy.

Finding financial clarity -- debt help and budgeting with Moneycare

Lucy did not start with a money plan (budget). First, she encouraged Coral to find out where her money was going. At the time, Coral had two credit cards and other debts. Determined to change her situation, she went through all her bank statements and put every item of spending into a category. She says the results were shocking. "That is when I realised how much I was gambling, and how much I spent on takeaway and bank fees. That money could have gone straight on [paying off] a credit card," she says. Lucy helped Coral connect the dots and understand the flow-on effect of her compounding debt from money spent on gambling. "Lucy was so clever. She just knew her stuff," Coral says. "And she never made me feel like I had failed."

Coral met with Lucy once a fortnight for several months and set herself small tasks. She paused takeaway, cut back spending and used two bank accounts so she could see what was happening. After Coral stopped gambling, online shopping became tempting. However, with clear understanding of her spending, she was able to rein it in too. Once Coral understood where her money went, Lucy helped her build a simple money plan (budget) she could follow. They worked out weekly amounts for bills, food and everyday spending. "She wrote it all down for me," Coral says. "Having it in front of me made it real."

Starting a savings habit

Simply saving even five dollars a week was now possible in the first money plan and became the beginning of a new savings habit. At first, Coral was challenged by seeing money in her account. "I always felt like I had to spend anything I had," she says. Lucy worked through that compulsion with her and Coral's money habits began to change. Coral now budgets for bills and has cleared her debts. "Now, if there is money there, I do not have to touch it. It feels so good when a bill comes out and I am still in the black," Coral says. "I have lost that compulsion to spend everything I have and more." When Coral received a lump sum recently, she did something new. "Once upon a time, I would have splurged, but instead, I put it straight into a term deposit," she says.

Changing habits and rebuilding confidence

Coral also changed her thinking about gambling. In her journal she wrote, 'I feel like I am the vampire pulling the blood, the money, from the machines. But then I realised -- the machines are the vampires pulling the blood from me.' Coral has put strict guardrails around her spending, but she did make one purchase -- a dog who is now a constant companion. "If she is in the car, I will not walk into a club and I rarely leave her at home. For me, that works." The changes are also clear to her now-adult family. "The kids see a huge change in me," she says. "I set out to get my life fixed up. I have done a lot of work and it hasn't been easy, but I knew I had to grow up and get my life under control." Coral now has a spending plan, a bills account, real savings and confidence. She has paid for an overseas trip next year.